chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
