my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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