Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
