dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
