Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
