Don't you send me to vm
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
birth control should be required to get into college
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
