Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
