i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
