We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
