lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
