wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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