it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
