Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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