Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
