Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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