Someone shit on the floor
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
