I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
