Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
