Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
