If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
