That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
