Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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