I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
