i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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