Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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