ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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