am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
where are my eyebrows?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
