every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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