Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
