Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
