With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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