i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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