Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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