So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
