are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
