Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
