i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
