i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
