plz talk dirty to me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize