got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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