basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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