Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
