I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
