i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
