just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
