gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
