Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
