Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
