I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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