You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
