I hate all girls vehemently.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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