She announced her abortion via fbk
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
