From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
