Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize