I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
