i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
