i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Everything about him screamed your future.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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