...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
