What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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