After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
