I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
