he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
