is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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