Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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