Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize