At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
