As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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