I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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