im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
