Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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