I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
