sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
