Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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