Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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