Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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