Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
