My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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