I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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